Firstly, I would like to let it be known that I personally am the skirmish of the earth to every middle class gentleman and lady; with my binge drinking, chain smoking nightly rituals all a major element in the student lifestyle. This stated, I know with all of our debts and loans and outlandish overdrafts we are do not heavily out weigh the value of a multi million pound investor but surely as the future of this country we could be treat with a little more courtesy by Mr. Bank Manager?
I have always believed so greatly in the saying, “You pay peanuts and you get monkeys”. However, there seems to be one very large exception that rule and unfortunately for me this a label no more appropriately fitting than to the employees at my local bank!
They reel you in with their amazing offers of free rail cards, which guaranteed you will not be given an application form for until the closing date has conveniently passed you by.
Overdrafts destined to increase the local breweries revenue will never appear, even after hours spent pleading on hands and knees by there customer service desk!
Then they offer you a free credit card, “Increase you credit score with us” they purr seductively , pound signs flashing in there piggy eyes. Then you realize you fell hook, line and sinker for their deceit as you wonder why your online banking wont allow you to pay off your rather large credit card bill, and so you phone them in despair as your payment is due tomorrow, your branch is closed and you do not want your already exacerbated finances straining at the seams. However, you experience a similar sound when you telephone to air your polite (being very British and diplomatic) complaint, “Sorry madam” an unenthused voice poorly pronounces, “Our systems down at the minute, but if you’d like to call back in a couple of hours”.
And so beginning to form bead-lets of sweat on your forehead you call back precisely two hours later. To find there system is up and running but the issue lies with you not them? Of course you are unable to pay off your credit card, you haven’t properly activated your account via the letter you received in the post and furthermore, how could you ever forget the vital role of the card reader in the whole process which you have to order online… silly silly student , maybe its time you lay off the home brew?
And as you stand in the center of your dingy living room quite willing to take your life as your brain feels of no more substance than scrambled egg, they ask you how long you have been a resident of the small Cornish village, hidden under a sunny haze and surrounded by flowing corn fields? The physical and emotional trauma you have under gone leaves you slumped … numb, only able to whisper a reply of “never!”; anger requiring too much effort to drum up.
To which the terribly patronizing voice of Patrick your friendly help adviser replies, “Ooo, why didn’t you say, what are you like eh? Looks like we’ve been sending all your credit information to some random little village” to which you can only retort “Peachy!” in an unenthused hiss.
So there we have it! The joys of the British banking system, praise the lord that these men and women’s roles in life are of no major importance on a wider political, social and historical climate of the country…
Bring in the next generations of binge drinking, chain smoking youths, surely things can only get better!
I have always believed so greatly in the saying, “You pay peanuts and you get monkeys”. However, there seems to be one very large exception that rule and unfortunately for me this a label no more appropriately fitting than to the employees at my local bank!
They reel you in with their amazing offers of free rail cards, which guaranteed you will not be given an application form for until the closing date has conveniently passed you by.
Overdrafts destined to increase the local breweries revenue will never appear, even after hours spent pleading on hands and knees by there customer service desk!
Then they offer you a free credit card, “Increase you credit score with us” they purr seductively , pound signs flashing in there piggy eyes. Then you realize you fell hook, line and sinker for their deceit as you wonder why your online banking wont allow you to pay off your rather large credit card bill, and so you phone them in despair as your payment is due tomorrow, your branch is closed and you do not want your already exacerbated finances straining at the seams. However, you experience a similar sound when you telephone to air your polite (being very British and diplomatic) complaint, “Sorry madam” an unenthused voice poorly pronounces, “Our systems down at the minute, but if you’d like to call back in a couple of hours”.
And so beginning to form bead-lets of sweat on your forehead you call back precisely two hours later. To find there system is up and running but the issue lies with you not them? Of course you are unable to pay off your credit card, you haven’t properly activated your account via the letter you received in the post and furthermore, how could you ever forget the vital role of the card reader in the whole process which you have to order online… silly silly student , maybe its time you lay off the home brew?
And as you stand in the center of your dingy living room quite willing to take your life as your brain feels of no more substance than scrambled egg, they ask you how long you have been a resident of the small Cornish village, hidden under a sunny haze and surrounded by flowing corn fields? The physical and emotional trauma you have under gone leaves you slumped … numb, only able to whisper a reply of “never!”; anger requiring too much effort to drum up.
To which the terribly patronizing voice of Patrick your friendly help adviser replies, “Ooo, why didn’t you say, what are you like eh? Looks like we’ve been sending all your credit information to some random little village” to which you can only retort “Peachy!” in an unenthused hiss.
So there we have it! The joys of the British banking system, praise the lord that these men and women’s roles in life are of no major importance on a wider political, social and historical climate of the country…
Bring in the next generations of binge drinking, chain smoking youths, surely things can only get better!

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